Death Does Not Always Accompany A Broken Heart. (RQ)

Diamiss from Unknown asks,
“What can I do at this point of no return? My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me and even though I still love him, I know he is not the same. It feels like we are still who we’ve always been and now we are enemies. That is what it feels like. I know I love him and I will still like to make it work. Is he still worth pursuing? He says we should just be friends. He says he no longer sees me as his girlfriend and sees me more like a sister. How can he see me as his sister when we have been f******  many times!!!? WTF!! I have so many questions, I really hope you can help! I would truly like to know should I move on, how and why? He acts like a different person towards me now and it hurts. Is this break up for the best?”

“One minute we are f****** and the next minute he is cold and very distant and don’t want to spend time with me. He wasn’t busy and he didn’t have a job at the time. And all of a sudden he goes back to school and gets a job and now he don’t want me even though I was there for him when he had nothing. He wants bigger and better things i guess. How did we go from being so passionate with each other to now living without each other? My heart is broken, how can I go on? I hope there is more to life than just broken hearts then death! I hope this is enough information to help you understand where I am coming from?”

Well Diamiss, you do have a lot questions, haha. Thank you very much for trusting me with this topic. A topic that is very sensitive for many people. Before going any further, I would like to remind you that I am not a licensed therapist, counselor nor am I an expert. All my advice comes from my own personal thoughts, opinions, and experiences. Also, keep in mind that this is your life. It does not matter what I or what anyone else thinks. At the end of the day, you are the one who has to live with the choices YOU make, not I. With that being said, I will do my best to answer, and I pray this advice helps you.

To answer what I think is the over all question, I say, you should move on with your life. He has and so should you. If I am reading your words correctly, it appears that perhaps your ex checked out of the relationship way before he said anything to you. He worked on himself and now its time for you to do or continue doing the same. Now, allow me to elaborate. 

Being transparent here, truthfully, your situations hits home for me. This is very similar to my former relationship, so I think I completely understand where you are coming from. My ex told me he thought we should just be friends. He revealed that he loves me but perhaps that love is different, implying he has love for me but is no longer in love with me. Again, I am not an expert but perhaps hearing a bit of my story can help you.

No Regrets, My Friend.

No Regrets, My Friend. 

By: Shalandra Royal

Look into my heart.
My aching heart,
a hollow shell it became.
I sacrificed my soul,
my weary soul,
to give you all that you’ve gained.

Is it Lust, Love, Infatuation, or Attraction? Is there a difference? (RQ)

Brother Bear from Macon, Ga asks,
“How does one know the difference between lust and love, infatuation and attraction, and how do we ignore it?”  

First, I would like to say, “Thank you Brother Bear for giving me my first reader question! I really appreciate you and I hope I give this question a justifiable answer.”

This is a tough question because I truly feel we often will not have one with another. My thoughts are: True Love is lasting. Pure Lust is blinding. Deep Infatuation is consuming. Physical, Spiritual, and Mental Attraction is desired. Now, of course each of these descriptions can be found within the others, but allow me to break it down to show you what I mean. I will start from the bottom and work my way back up.

Your Armor

Your Armor
By: Shalandra Royal
We all know someone who has worked very hard in life just to survive. Sometimes we are those very people to do so. It does not feel good to be on the opposing end of the armor that is often built in the process and this often causes other to begin to build theirs. Then once you are done and you are in it, it can be very difficult to remove it. Beware and Best wishes to you all! 

I am so very proud of you!
Of your strength.
Of your victories.
Of your voice.
Of your mind.
Of your heart…. of what’s left of it.

Overcoming your past to live in this present with a little of nothing…
I am very proud of you.

I’m proud of you…
Your strength is so mighty, that no one can fight it
Your victories of which you defend, are won from within
Your voice is your weapon of choice,
Your mind holds your instrument that sounds supreme
And your heart yet and true, feels only for rent, sometimes?

Dating YOURSELF is IMPORTANT TOO! (Date 1: Introduction)

Hello Sweets!

I am sure you have heard a few people suggest getting to know yourself is key before you begin successfully dating other people. I am one of those people that agree with this, but realistically speaking, no one knows themselves completely at that age in which they want to begin dating, that is just a fact. It is important to keep in mind that we will indeed change throughout life while we are dating, even in married life. There is a point in life when one may become comfortable with who they are and what they have become and that is great…but in the meantime, it is super important that we pay attention to some things about ourselves that would make our dating life a bit easier. By identifying a few things about ourselves early on, we can prevent a lot of emotional, mental, and sometimes physical damage to us and the people we date.

Dating yourself does not mean you can not or should not date other people during the process. Many of us learn through experiences. So being practical, while dating others, date yourself as well. It is a much safer alternative than cheating on your partner with another person, haha! (Seriously, do not cheat on your partner with another person! That is not cool!) Hopefully, traveling down this road will lead us to the ultimate goal of having a happy marriage to ourselves and to our dream person! I am on this journey too. We can do it!