Agnus Dei- Bizet

Hello Sweets!

As a music major (vocalist), I understand the struggles one may face when trying to learn music inside and outside of vocals lessons. I also understand the challenge of trying to interpret what your vocal professor is trying to tell you. Though your professor(s) may offer phenomenal advice, it is not always easy to relate to their vocal technique or it may not be easy to translate what is being suggested for you to do. From experience, I have often benefitted from vocal advice from my peers. Sometimes they could suggest the same techniques that my professor suggests but because my peers were able to either explain it from a student’s prospective or explain it in simpler terms, I was able to understand it. Here, I would like to document what I have learned, what I am learning, my struggles, my epiphanies, and whatever else that might come to mind by providing videos and text in hopes that this may help you somewhere in your musical journey.

LET’S BEGIN!

Check out the live performance here:
https://youtu.be/4xT4iyto0lY

Death Does Not Always Accompany A Broken Heart. (RQ)

Diamiss from Unknown asks,
“What can I do at this point of no return? My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me and even though I still love him, I know he is not the same. It feels like we are still who we’ve always been and now we are enemies. That is what it feels like. I know I love him and I will still like to make it work. Is he still worth pursuing? He says we should just be friends. He says he no longer sees me as his girlfriend and sees me more like a sister. How can he see me as his sister when we have been f******  many times!!!? WTF!! I have so many questions, I really hope you can help! I would truly like to know should I move on, how and why? He acts like a different person towards me now and it hurts. Is this break up for the best?”

“One minute we are f****** and the next minute he is cold and very distant and don’t want to spend time with me. He wasn’t busy and he didn’t have a job at the time. And all of a sudden he goes back to school and gets a job and now he don’t want me even though I was there for him when he had nothing. He wants bigger and better things i guess. How did we go from being so passionate with each other to now living without each other? My heart is broken, how can I go on? I hope there is more to life than just broken hearts then death! I hope this is enough information to help you understand where I am coming from?”

Well Diamiss, you do have a lot questions, haha. Thank you very much for trusting me with this topic. A topic that is very sensitive for many people. Before going any further, I would like to remind you that I am not a licensed therapist, counselor nor am I an expert. All my advice comes from my own personal thoughts, opinions, and experiences. Also, keep in mind that this is your life. It does not matter what I or what anyone else thinks. At the end of the day, you are the one who has to live with the choices YOU make, not I. With that being said, I will do my best to answer, and I pray this advice helps you.

To answer what I think is the over all question, I say, you should move on with your life. He has and so should you. If I am reading your words correctly, it appears that perhaps your ex checked out of the relationship way before he said anything to you. He worked on himself and now its time for you to do or continue doing the same. Now, allow me to elaborate. 

Being transparent here, truthfully, your situations hits home for me. This is very similar to my former relationship, so I think I completely understand where you are coming from. My ex told me he thought we should just be friends. He revealed that he loves me but perhaps that love is different, implying he has love for me but is no longer in love with me. Again, I am not an expert but perhaps hearing a bit of my story can help you.

What It Feels Like at the End…

What It Feels Like at the End…
Poetry By: Shalandra Royal

They say I make them smile,
And that I give glittering glimpses of hope in humanity.
That I bring them peace and show them love.
That is what I want to do.
To make a difference, in the best way I can.

“They’re lucky to have you.” “Luck to have you there.” “Lucky to know you.” “Luck to have known you.”
The same lines repeated throughout the years.
Why don’t I believe it?
Because I do not feel it.

I pour my soul into you all as life is fleeting from mine,
Never second guessing your life over mine.
I fight for you all much more than I fight for myself and gladly revel in YOUR victory that we obtained together.
Sitting, patiently waiting for you all to understand that I am a life long ally.

Your Armor

Your Armor
By: Shalandra Royal
We all know someone who has worked very hard in life just to survive. Sometimes we are those very people to do so. It does not feel good to be on the opposing end of the armor that is often built in the process and this often causes other to begin to build theirs. Then once you are done and you are in it, it can be very difficult to remove it. Beware and Best wishes to you all! 

I am so very proud of you!
Of your strength.
Of your victories.
Of your voice.
Of your mind.
Of your heart…. of what’s left of it.

Overcoming your past to live in this present with a little of nothing…
I am very proud of you.

I’m proud of you…
Your strength is so mighty, that no one can fight it
Your victories of which you defend, are won from within
Your voice is your weapon of choice,
Your mind holds your instrument that sounds supreme
And your heart yet and true, feels only for rent, sometimes?

Love Struck Game

Love Struck Game
By: Shalandra Royal

This is a poem I wrote in middle school. It was written in the process of drawing my own manga and this poem was featured in there as a song sang by one of the characters. This poem is not completed here. The ending is missing because I only found the manga pages with the words entered in them. I have to find the rest of this scene in the manga or find where I stored the original copy of the poem.
In middle school, my imagination was huge! I don’t think I been through anything tough yet like what’s depicted in the poem, but I surely wrote about it. I could feel what other people were going through and write about it. My character felt it, so that meant so did I.  

From my wretched thoughts you gain.
Eternally darkening my heartache stain,
Always winning your love struck game,
I’ll never forget…
IT’S YOU I BLAME!!!

Afraid of Who You May Become?

Hello Sweets!

Have you ever wondered why your parents are the way they are today or what made them that way? Have you ever said to your parents or wanted to ask, “Do you remember what it was like to be my age?” Have you taken a good look at them and then back at yourself and said, “I will never treat my children the way my parents treat me!” or “I don’t want to be like you when I’m your age?” Or something along those lines? I know I have certainly said those lines over and over again through the years.

By reading some of my previous posts, you can get an idea of the relationship I have with my parents. I don’t hate them, and I certainly do not wish harm to them, but I know I do not want to make the same choices they have made, especially in the parenting and financial areas. In fact, my biggest fear is that I might one day become my mother. That I may act and be in the same situation as my mother. Please understand that I love my mother and she is not the wicked evil witch of the west or something. My mother can be really kind and giving but I do not want to be in her situation when I am her age. This really scares me! Recently, in my attempts to make sure I don’t take the road she traveled, I’ve discovered a shocking truth….

In all of my current attempts to not be like my mother, I am slowly and unknowingly traveling the same road. What I am doing is not working. What do I do now?